


The Detective and The Doctor

by TheWaterGoddess



Category: Naruto
Genre: Crime, Detective AU, Everyone ships SNS, M/M, Mutual Pining, Mystery, Naruto as John, One-sided SakuSasu, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Romance, Roomates, Sasuke as Sherlock, Sherlock AU, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-22 16:50:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14313036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWaterGoddess/pseuds/TheWaterGoddess
Summary: Consulting detective Uchiha Sasuke and certified sociopath, never thought he might ever have a friend to call his own. But there are things even his brilliant mind cannot predict or prevent – the arrival of ex-army doctor, Uzumaki Naruto, the most befuddling mystery of all.





	The Detective and The Doctor

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FranBunny](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FranBunny/gifts).



> This one is for FranBunny! For being an absolute gem and also as a thank you for posting “Fox Children” as soon as she could.
> 
> ...
> 
> Note: So, this is a Sherlock!AU. But at the same time, there will be differences, so please keep that in mind – like, this is not set in London, but Japan. Sherlock is a show in which the intelligence level of all other characters far less superior to that of Sherlock's, but I will more or less try to do the Naruto characters justice here. There will be parts that are notably similar to the show Sherlock, but events and characters will be changed to suit the Naruto theme.

September  4, 2004

 

_ Hello _

 

* * *

 

September 27, 2004

 

_ Nothing much to say _

 

* * *

October 7, 2004

 

_ I can’t do this.  _

 

* * *

October 10, 2004

 

_ See? I’m writing my blog, Shizune-san. Just for you, on this special day. _

 

* * *

 

October 14, 2004

 

_ Met up with a few old friends. It was fun while it lasted, but there’s no way we can get together all the time. It was depressing. _

 

* * *

 

October 20, 2004

 

_ There’s a bunch of odd serial suicides going on. It’s really weird, because they don’t seem to have any connection, but they all die in the same way. _

 

_ Well, we’re all equal in death, huh? Okay, okay, nothing too depressing, I remember, Shizune-san. I’ll take it more seriously next time.  _

 

_ Next time. _

 

* * *

 

So, apparently depressing was alright, as long as he  _ wrote _ . If only it would be so easy…

 

Hesitant fingers hovered over the keyboard, before finally typing:

 

October 28, 2004

 

_ My name is Uzumaki Naruto. I am an experienced medical doctor, recently returned from Germany.  _

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

"Fuck," Naruto whispered, giving it up as a lost cause. Shizune-san, his therapist, had advised him to write a blog. Write about his feelings, his daily activities. Anything he wished to, in fact.

 

But always, his mind would blank and his screen would remain devoid of words. Today, all he'd managed to type were two lines.

 

"Well, this is it." Naruto decided, "I've written _ something _ . She'll have to take what she can get."

 

Pulling a drawer open, he gave a look at the gun he still kept close – his license still valid due to the fact he had once been in service – and sighed. The laptop was closed and placed next to it, both forgotten till the next time he opened the drawer.

 

Blue eyes shut close, unbelievably tired from having done absolutely nothing.

 

* * *

 

"Hatake-keibu! From Tokyo News, what do you have to say about the serial suicides?"

 

Hatake Kakashi, Inspector in charge of Tokyo Metropolitan Police, Division 1 (Homicide), pushed past the reporters, his small team following him. Ensconced in the police patrol car, his second in command, Karui,  immediately turned towards him

 

"Keibu, the public is going to demand answers soon!"

 

“It can't be helped," Kakashi sighed, dragging a hand through his hair, "I'm equally baffled by this case as the rest of you. Three people, who died in an exact similar manner? By committing suicide? And ingesting the same type of pill? It's clearly murder."

 

"But they took the poison by themselves. Forensic reports show no signs of force –"

 

"Exactly. The question here is  _ why _ . Why would they do it? And what is the connection between them?"

 

Karui pursed her lips, "Are – are you going to call  _ him _ on the case?"

 

"Uchiha Sasuke?" Kakashi sighed, "I'll reserve judgement."

 

* * *

 

"Flatmate?"

 

"Yes," Sasuke sipped at his coffee, "I moving out of rehab completely this week."

 

"And you want me to find you a flatmate?"

 

Sasuke shrugged, "Not exactly, just putting it out there."

 

Chouji sighed, “Alright, I'll see about it."

 

"Excellent!" He put on his coat, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be going down to forensics. Sakura said she had a good sample for me."

 

"Samp–?"

 

But Sasuke was already gone.

 

"Honestly, that man." Chouji shook his head, "Any flatmate I find him might as well be gone within the first week."

 

* * *

Naruto shifted his grip around the walking stick as he hobbled down the sidewalk. The walking around was supposed to get him acclimatised to being in public again, around people. Get used to 'normalcy'.

 

It was no use.

 

His memories, his experiences of war followed him no matter what he tried.

 

"Naruto!"

 

The blond blinked, surprised at the call. Akimichi Chouji, still as red-haired but certainly more plump than before, was waving at him across the street.

 

"Why, isn't this a pleasant surprise! When did you get back?"

 

Naruto smiled tightly as he shook hands, his grip on the walking stick spasming ever so slightly at his jovial tone. "Been about a month, yeah."

 

"Hmm," Chouji eyed him critically, "Up for some coffee?"

 

“Um, well...sure!"

 

Some odd twenty minutes later, they found themselves relocated to a nearby park, sitting in comfortable silence, sipping at coffee.

 

"So..."

 

Naruto hummed, noncommittal, and Chouji trailed off, discouraged.

 

"Still at the KGH, then?"

 

Chouji perked up, "Yeah. Professor, now. Teaching the young'uns."

 

Naruto nodded, "Good. That's good."

 

"Heard you were in Germany, though. Getting shot at," Chouji joked, his laughter dying out when Naruto didn't join in, "What happened?"

 

Naruto smiled blandly, "Got shot at."

 

"Ah..."

 

The Uzumaki shook his head dismissively, "Anyway, I'm back in town now. To stay. It's a good thing I bumped into you – help me out a bit?"

 

"Sure!"

 

"Know any good places to rent here? Got a place downtown, but I miss the hubbub of the city."

 

"True," Chouji laughed, "You just can't live outside the city, can you? That's not Naruto for you." He smiled kindly at his friend, eyes crinkling at the edges, “I think I may have a solution for that.” 

 

* * *

"I've got a fresh one for you today!" Sakura smiled widely as Sasuke circled the examination table, "Just came in. Natural causes."

 

"Hmm? Oh good. We'll begin with the riding crop then."

 

"Huh?"

 

The forensic specialist simply watched, a bit stupefied but not any less starstruck, as the consulting detective began systematically striking the cold corpse with his riding crop.

 

"So...um, I was thinking," Sakura began hesitantly after Sasuke had finally finished, "Would you like to go have some coffee?"

 

"Hmm?" Sasuke made a quick note in a pocket diary, "You said something?" He looked up at her then, quizzical, "You've let your hair down. You hadn't done so before."

 

Sakura blushed at the attention, "Ah, yes, I'm trying out something new. Coffee?"

 

"Sure." Sasuke gave a her smile, "Black, two sugars, please. I'll be upstairs."

 

Sakura blinked, surprised, "Oh."

 

* * *

 

Sasuke tsked impatiently, frowning down at the microscope and his inconclusive results. The door of the lab creaked open, but Sasuke only spared it a glance as he slid the slide out from its holder. Two men had just entered. His black eyes zeroed in on the new-comer.

 

_ Male. Five feet, seven...no, six inches. Blond. Tan – natural? Military haircut. Stiff stride. Walking stick – a limp – obvio – _

 

"Bit different from our day, huh?" The blond remarked, glancing around as he walked around to stand next to the long table.

 

Sasuke blinked, focusing on the second person, "Chouji, may I borrow your phone?"

 

The plump doctor groaned, "Again? Where did you leave yours?"

 

"Coat. Downstairs. Phone, Chouji."

 

"Just a sec– ah...looks like I left mine in my coat too."

 

"Here." It was the blond again. "You can use mine."

 

Sasuke turned in his seat to face him, looking at the slightly old model of phone he was holding out. His eyes slid towards Chouji once more before getting up to accept the device.

 

"The German lines failed then?"

 

"Er, what?"

 

"The German lines – there've been quite a reports of terrorist activity at the border, two months ago."

 

Blondie – as Sasuke has dubbed him for now – just looked and blinked at him blankly, and Sasuke gave a faint smirk as he finished typing and sent off the text. Blondie didn't get a chance to reply as Sakura pushed the door open just then, a cup of coffee in her hand.

 

"Ah! Thank you," He took a sip and finding it palatable, nodded. Then his head snapped up, a frown on his lips, "You tied your hair in a bun again. What happened to the new style?"

 

"Oh, um, it didn't seem to work for me," Sakura blushed, a little embarrassed at the call out.

 

"Hm." Sasuke shrugged, "Well, whatever. I thought it was a huge improvement. This style shows off your rather large forehead."

 

Sakura's cheeks heated up even more at that and she quickly stammered out an excuse before fleeing.

 

"By the way, how do you feel about the violin?” Sasuke turned back to the blond, “I play erratically and often go into moods for hours together."

 

"What?"

 

"Potential flatmates should know the worst about each other, don't you think?"

 

"Who said anything about flatmates?"

 

Chouji snickered softly and Blondie gave him a short look of annoyance.

 

"I did." Sasuke wrapped a scarf around his neck, cup empty. "I told Chouji only this morning about a nice set of rooms that I might sign the lease for and a flatmate to share the rent would be desirable. And in the afternoon, he comes, with an old friend to Konoha General Hospital, clearly to introduce you to me. So, how about it? Shall we meet to see the flat tomorrow, say around 3 pm?"

 

"That's it?"

 

Sasuke blinked, "What else is needed?"

 

"Wha– ?" The blond licked his lips, a touch of annoyance creeping up in his tone, "We only just met and now we're going to go look at a flat?"

 

“Problem?”

 

“We don't know  _ anything _ about each other – I don’t even know where we’re going to meet or your name.”

 

Sasuke raised his eyebrows at that. "I know you're an army doctor, recently returned from the German stations. Dismissed due to injury, I'd say. You have an aunt who’s quite worried about you, but you're reluctant to live with her. Either because of her alcoholic habits or her ongoing family problems. You have a therapist who thinks your limp is psychosomatic, quite correctly, I'm afraid."

 

He stopped abruptly, inches away from his face. They stared at each other intently before the dark haired man backed off. "That's enough to know for now, yes?" Sasuke walked to the door, stopping only briefly to say, "Also, the name is Uchiha Sasuke and the address is District 2, Block 21, Beika City."

 

Sasuke spared one last look at his potential flatmate, winked, then disappeared down the hallway.

 

* * *

 

"What the fuck? What. The.  _ Actual _ . Fuck!" Naruto spun around in his place, facing Chouji, "Man, did that just happen? Did he… Did he just –?" He narrowed his eyes, “Did you tell him –?”

 

"No," Chouji grinned, "I never told him about you. He's always like that."

 

Naruto exhaled harshly. "And you want me to share a flat with him?"

 

"Just giving you an option, Naruto."

 

"I… give me some time to think. Tell him I'll meet him tomorrow? At Beika – whatever..."

 

"District 2, Block 21, Beika City."

 

"Yeah, that."

 

Suddenly remembering his cell, he checked his mail. Under  _ Sent _ , there was one outgoing message to an unfamiliar number:  _ It was the brother. Arrest him. _

 

Naruto frowned, his confusion not abated in the slightest. "Arrest him" suggested some kind of authority. Or a prime witness with an attitude – but unlikely, given the fact that he was working in the lab. So, forensic doctor? Chouji had never said –

 

"I'm off too, Naruto! Gotta go now."

 

"Yeah," Naruto replied, absently pocketing his phone and making his way homeward.

Uchiha Sasuke, huh? The tall, dark-haired, dark-eyed man who'd started talking to him as if he knew everything about him. Read him like it was all written on his face. Transparent.

 

Naruto swallowed. It was not a good feeling. He shouldn't be able to – there were things that –

 

_ 'Stop! Stop, that is all behind you now,' _ Naruto took a deep breath. Well, he possessed no such abilities of instant information absorbance, but he did have something.  _ 'Google, here I come.' _   
  


* * *

"Sir!"

 

Kakashi looked up, tired, from the case files he was perusing. "What is it?"

 

"There's been another one – another suicide!"

 

"Well, hell."

 

* * *

 

"What a way to start the day," Naruto muttered, pushing away the newspaper in distaste,  “Murder, robbery, suicides...this crime filled city is full of rot." But nonetheless, he was looking forward to today. A surprising thing, but most welcome.

 

Yesterday's meeting with 'Consulting Detective' Uchiha Sasuke, as his online web-page proclaimed, had intrigued him immensely. A man who could look at ordinary, everyday things and see a story in them. Naruto had found himself both fascinated as well as skeptical. Needing to clear his head, he'd finally followed the advice of his therapist, and written something personal on his blog.

 

October 29, 2004

 

_ Today, I met Uchiha Sasuke.  _

 

_ How to put it in words? He was… The man has never known me, yet he could tell things about me! It was crazy, crazy as hell. _

 

_ I finally googled him up. His online website is really weird; he calls himself a consulting detective and prides on knowing 240 types of different tobacco ash. I can barely name  _ **_two_ ** _ types of tobacco. _

 

_ The man might be strange, but seems to have good taste in houses. Kami, this is mad. I’m mad to even agree to this… he’s arrogant as hell, but well, he was also kinda charming. It really was a bit strange. _

 

_ He's not really the kid of person I can see wanting to share a flat, but... We're going to see a flat tomorrow. In Beika City. It's one of the nicer parts, so it must be costly. I hope my pension from the army can cover the expenses. _

 

Then Naruto remembered that this blog was mostly going to be read by Shizune-san and he didn't need to give her any more excuses to point out how unstable he was. Promptly, he'd deleted the last sentence.

 

October 29, 2004

 

_ Today, I met Uchiha Sasuke.  _

 

_ How to put it in words? He was… The man has never known me, yet he could tell things about me! It was crazy, crazy as hell. _

 

_ I finally googled him up _ . _ His online website is really weird; he calls himself a consulting detective and prides on knowing 240 types of different tobacco ash. I can barely name  _ **_two_ ** _ types of tobacco. _

 

_ The man might be strange, but seems to have good taste in houses. Kami, this is mad. I’m mad to even agree to this...he’s arrogant as hell, but well, he was also kinda charming. It really was a bit strange. _

 

_ He's not really the kid of person I can see wanting to share a flat, but... We're going to see a flat tomorrow. In Beika City. It's one of the nicer parts, so it must be costly. _

 

After which, he’d lost interest in writing any more.

 

“Well, let’s get going then.”

 

Naruto adjusted his walking stick and stepped out to hail a cab. Luckily, the cab driver knew the address well enough and dropped him off right at the doorstep. Block 21 was a quaint, three storey house, a little off the main road. It had a nice, well-maintained lawn and gave off a very homely appearance.

 

“I could see myself living here,” he murmured, limping towards the gates. A small plaque was right beneath the doorbell and Naruto squinted his eyes to make out the faded out lettering.

 

“Ah, you’ve arrived already!”

 

Naruto turned quickly, accepting the handshake from Sasuke, “Just a minute ago. I never got a chance to introduce myself yesterday –”

 

“Uzumaki Naruto, yes, Chouji gave me a call.” Sasuke smiled, pressing the doorbell. “I’ve gotten quite good rates for the rooms, helped out the owner in a case a few years ago.”

 

“The owner?”

 

“Umino Iruka, yes. His husband was convicted of a murder and sentenced for execution.”

 

“Ah.” Naruto nodded, remembering the website, “So you helped prove him innocent.”

 

“Oh no,” Sasuke smirked, “on the contrary, I made sure his execution was carried out.”

 

Naruto had just about managed to hide his flabbergasted expression when the gates opened. A slightly older man, in his late forties Naruto assumed, walked over with arms wide in welcome.

 

“Sasuke! It’s good to see you!” Iruka drew the stoic man in a for a quick hug, before shaking hands with Naruto, “You’ve managed to find someone to flat-share with you! This is great! The rooms are a bit too huge for one person. Kami knows I feel lonely by myself!”

 

Feeling a bit more positive about the place after meeting with Iruka, Naruto grinned, “Yeah, I can understand. Which floor are you renting out?”

 

“Oh, both the upper ones, actually,” He led them into the house and up the stairs, “While the ground floor is fully equipped, the first floor has only a large sitting room and a dining area plus kitchen. There’s a small storage closet too, for cleaning supplies.” He opened the door to show them, and pointed a finger upwards, “The bedrooms will be upstairs. There are two, if you’ll be needing two bedrooms.”

 

“Of course we’ll be needing two!” Naruto sputtered at the implication.

 

Iruka smiled, nodding at him with a whisper, “Oh don’t worry, it’s all fine! Shimizu-san, two blocks down, has married ones.”

 

"Oh, leave us alone, Iruka. Don't bother the doctor and let him take a look around."

 

"Always so curt, you are." Iruka laughed, "But do tidy up this mess, boys."

 

"I was hoping you'd lend me a hand."

 

"Not your housekeeper."

 

Naruto suppressed a smile at the banter. He thanked the man and said they'd manage. Iruka nodded agreeably at that and told them to tell him if they required something. He did have a few spare bed-sheets.

 

"A cup of tea will be nice, if you're going downstairs." Sasuke called.

 

"Still not your housekeeper!"

 

Iruka excused himself soon after, letting the two of the familiarise themselves with the place. Sasuke meanwhile, had moved completely into the living room, sifting through a few large piles of books. Now that Naruto took a better look around, he noticed that entire room was covered with odd knick-knacks, a random overflowing carton and on a mantelpiece sat a –

 

“Is that a  _ skull?! _ ”

 

"Ah, friend of mine," Sasuke nodded, then apparently reviewing what he said, continued, "When I say friend..."

 

"Oh." Naruto nodded to himself, trying and failing to make sense of this man, "So – you've already moved in then?"

 

"Ah, yes! These are mine; I'll make sure to put them away properly before you've arrived with your own, of course."

 

Naruto's eyebrow twitched, _ ‘Arrogant bastard… Did he really assume I was going to accept to move in before even  _ **_seeing_ ** _ the flat?’ _

 

"Yeah, okay."

 

"Excellent –"

 

Footsteps thudded up the stairs and Sasuke cut himself off, moving towards the window and peering out to confirm his suspicions. He was right. A white and black car with blinking red lights had parked on the curb.

 

"Looks like there's been a fourth one. And there's something different about it."

 

"Fourth what?"

 

Naruto's question went unanswered as a white haired man, face half covered with a mask entered the room. There was an air of frustrated desperation around him as he looked at the Uchiha.

 

"Sasuke."

 

"Hatake-keibu."

 

"You already know what I'm here for."

 

"About the serial suicides? Yes."

 

The inspector sighed, "Will you come?"

 

Sasuke waved a hand, blase and unconcerned, seating himself down on an armchair. "It's boring. They're clearly murders. All you need to do is find the culprit. And you've given me no useful data so far."

 

Naruto glanced between the two, confused. What were they talking about? A case? And Sasuke was... _ refusing _ it?

 

"You know how they never leave notes?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Well, this one did."

 

Sasuke jumped up, eyes bright, "I'll be there. Text me the address."

 

"I can take you with me," Hatake complained, but he was already moving out.

 

"I prefer not to ride police cars. Who's on forensics, by the way?"

 

"Inuzuka."

 

Sasuke tsked, pouting – was Naruto seeing this right? – and grumbling, "He won't work with me."

 

"Oh, for Kami-sama's sake! Just come!" Hatake shouted, disappearing out the door.

 

"Right behind you."

 

Naruto sighed and sat down in the vacated chair, watching as his new roommate rushed around, dressing himself up in coats and scarves. His expression was one of elation and there were half-spoken, half-whispered mutterings of "Excellent!" and "A murder!" randomly thrown in. This was getting highly ridiculous and the doctor wondered if he'd stepped into Twilight zone.

 

Iruka peeked in briefly, "A case, Sasuke? Oh dear, he's already immersed in it." He looked sympathetically at Naruto, "You're doing well? Pay him no mind, he's a bit ridiculous that way."

 

Naruto grinned at him. He was glad  _ someone _ understood.

 

"Not ridiculous, Iruka. This is work!" Sasuke said, finally emerging from his thoughts.

 

"A bit less excitement about murder would be good then."

 

"But you know nothing pleases me more," said the dark-haired man emphatically, striding past him and down the stairs. “I’ll be late, Iruka. Might need some food. Make yourself at home, Naruto, don’t wait up.”

 

Naruto blinked at the abruptness, a bit wrong-footed at his departure. What was he supposed to do now? Go back home, or talk things out with Iruka about the lease?

 

"Well, that's him for you," Iruka sighed. Turning to Naruto, "Would you like some tea? Must be stressful, all this nonsense.”

 

"Yeah, thanks, Iruka-san. Tea would be good."

 

"Just this once, dear, I'm not your housekeeper."

 

Naruto grunted, picking up a newspaper from the small table in front of him, "A couple of biscuits too, please, if you’ve got them."

 

"Not your housekeeper." Iruka called back, moving downstairs.

 

Well, this was not how Naruto had imagined it to be. Not that he'd ever had a flatmate before. How were these things supposed to go, anyway? He was pretty sure they didn't end up with your roommate running off for an investigation in the middle of things, though.

 

He turned the page and paused, seeing Inspector Hatake’s face printed on it, next to a woman’s. He frowned; was this the case Sasuke had been called to assist with? The serial suicides they said… Perhaps this was the fourth woman? Or no, third victim, most likely – considering that the Inspector had just called Sasuke for the fourth. Thinking on it, he remembered reading it himself, this morning – she’d been found in an old abandoned factory. 

 

_ ‘They certainly end up committing suicides in odd places. Wonder where the fourth one did,’  _ Naruto flipped another page, fly reading through most of the articles.

 

Footsteps approached once more and Naruto turned, "Oh, that was quick…” 

 

It was not Iruka.

 

"Naruto."

 

"Sasuke."

 

He moved into the room, an appraising look in his eyes, hands stuffed in his coat pockets. "You're a doctor. An army doctor, in fact."

 

"Yes."

 

“Any good?”

 

Naruto raised his chin, “Very good.” 

 

"Seen a lot of death? Gruesome ones?”

 

"Lots."

 

“Quite a bit of trouble too, I’d bet.” He glanced at the bad leg.

 

"Yeah, of course. Enough for a lifetime."

 

Sasuke nodded at that. They stayed that way for a moment – Naruto, slouched back, hand around his walking stick, eyes fixed on Sasuke, who regarded him cooly. Then, a smile curled around the detective’s lips.

 

"Want to see more?"

 

Naruto struggled out of the chair, a muscle tensing in his jaw as he gripped his stick tightly, "Kami, yes."

 

Sasuke grinned outright at that and marched out of the room, Naruto on his heels. They passed Iruka at the door, who was surprised to see them on their way out.

 

“Sorry, Iruka-san, I’ll skip the tea. I’m on my way out.”

 

“Oh dear, both of you?”

 

Sasuke turned around, genuine delight upon his face as he clasped Iruka by his shoulders, “Impossible suicides? Four of them? There’s no reason to sit at home when there’s finally something fun going on!”

 

Iruka blinked and then smiled exasperatedly, “Look at you! All happy about this – not decent, that.”

 

"Yes, see you, Iruka!” Sasuke waved over his shoulder, disreagarding the rebuke as he opened the front door. “The game in  _ on _ ."

 

Naruto shook his head ruefully, wondering if it was too late to back out. But, to be very honest, what Sasuke had said was right – finally, there was something going on in his life. Something not mundane. And Naruto embraced the feeling of adrenaline within his veins.  _ This _ was what he’d lived for.

 

* * *

 

True to his word, Sasuke did not travel with the inspector and instead hailed a cab. The ride was silent and Naruto realised quickly that Sasuke was not one for making small talk. He wondered if should bring it up, since it had been nagging him in the back of his mind since yester–

 

"You have questions."

 

Naruto blinked, "Wha –? Oh, yeah."

 

"Ask."

 

Well, that was direct.

 

"I googled you last night," Naruto began, "saw your website, ‘The Science of Deduction’. It said you knew how to tell apart 240 different types of tobacco ash?"

 

"I can." Sasuke dipped his head in acknowledgment, "But that's not what you wanted to ask."

 

Naruto made a frustrated noise. Honestly, this man had self-esteem issues – the kind that were too big to fit through a door!

 

"Yesterday –" he licked his lips, and plowed on, "yesterday, how – how were you able to guess those things about me?"

 

"I did not  _ guess _ , I deduced. I saw and observed. Based on what I observed, I made deductions."

 

Well, that told him nothing. He cast around for something else to say. Sasuke did, after all, tell him to  _ ask. _

 

"Where are we going?"

 

"Crime scene. Next."

 

Naruto twisted around in his seat, giving him an annoyed look. He wanted to ask, "What  _ are _ you?" But, realising that would be a bit rude, he said, “Who are you? What do you do?”

 

Sasuke smirked, "What do you think?"

 

Naruto faced forward again, "I'd say a private detective."

 

Sasuke made an approving noise, "But?"

 

"But the police don't go to private detectives."

 

Sasuke smiled. “I’m a consulting detective. The only one in the world; I invented the profession.”

 

“Yeah, so your website said. What’s it mean?”

 

“It means that when the police are out of their depth, which is  _ always _ , they consult me.”

 

Naruto laughed lightly, shaking his head at Sasuke’s arrogance, “The police don’t consult amateurs.”

 

Sasuke turned to face him, an eyebrow raised incredulously. The cab lurched as they sped over a speed-breaker and he faced forward again. “When I met you the first time yesterday, I said that the German lines had failed. You looked surprised.”

 

“Yeah. How did you know?”

 

“I told you, I  _ saw _ . Your haircut and the way you hold yourself says military. But your conversation with Chouji –”

 

_ ‘Bit different from our day, huh?’ _

 

“– said doctor. Trained at Konoha General Hospital. Hence, army doctor – obvious. Your face is tanned, but the contrast is different just above your wrists. You’ve been abroad then, but not sunbathing. Your limp is bad when you walk,”

 

Their gazes travelled to his leg, the corner of Naruto’s eyes tightening and Sasuke spoke on, “But you didn’t ask for a chair to sit, almost like you’d forgotten about it. So, it’s at least partly psychosomatic. Which means that the original circumstances of the injury were traumatic. Wounded in action then. Wounded in action, suntan, and the quite public news of Japan’s victory against terrorist cells at the German borders…”

 

Naruto let out a breath he hadn’t realised he was holding. Sasuke had to have noticed that in seconds. Seconds! And yet, he’d immediately pieced together everything he’d seen and come to the right conclusion. He swallowed harshly.

 

“You said I had a therapist.”

 

“You’ve got a psychosomatic limp, of course you’ve got a therapist.” He sounded almost bored as he said it, as if that was not even something to be clarified. “Ah, but then there’s your aunt – your phone,”  He motioned his fingers in the in universal sign for “gimme” and Naruto complied. 

 

“The model is slightly old, but customised with a pale pink border. Equipped with email, camera and music player; expensive. There’s also multiple scratches, mostly likely formed due to constant contact with keys or coins in a pocket. Clearly not your own, you’d have taken better care of it, and probably belonged to a woman before you. An engraving at the back says ‘To my dearest, xxx Dan.’ Confirms my theory.”

 

Sasuke flipped the phone, pointing at it. “It could be your mother’s, but I’d say not. You’re looking for a flatmate; your mother would have insisted you live with her. Could be a sister, but I’d say no – the current generation don’t use the old 90s model. So, it’s an aunt.” 

 

Naruto nodded along unconsciously and encouraged by his interested audience, Sasuke continued.

 

“Now, ‘xxx Dan’. The three ‘x’ is a typical textual format of saying ‘three kisses’. So Dan is a lover. Based on the fact that a phone is an expensive gift, I’d say husband. But she’s given it away – why? Marital problems? Divorce? Could be. Mutual separation, I’d say. Probably the love faded. But she gave it to you, so she’s concerned for you, wants you to stay in touch. But you’re looking for cheap accommodation, instead of going to your aunt for help. Clearly, you don’t wish to be involved in the family drama.  _ Or _ don’t wish to deal with her drinking habits.”

 

“How,” Naruto interrupted, “could you  _ possibly _ know that she’s an alcoholic?”

 

That gave him pause and he chuckled softly, “Shot in the dark. Good one though.”

 

Naruto snorted at the ego-boosting. 

 

“Power connection – has scuff marks around the edge. Every night she goes to plug in the charger, her hands shake. You never see these marks on a sober man’s phone, never a see a drunk’s without them.”

 

Sasuke gave him a glance, throwing the phone back. “So you were right.”

 

“ _ I _ was right?” Naruto made an odd noise, still in slight disbelief at the way Sasuke had broken down his deductions. It made him seem foolish, when pointed out in such a manner. “Right about what?”

 

“The police don’t consult amateurs.”

 

“Heh.” Naruto bit his lip and shook his head, his lips beginning to pull back in a wide smile.  He gave decisive nod to himself and looked out of the window, mind-blown and in more than a little awe at what he’d heard. “ _ That _ … was amazing.”

 

Sasuke blinked rapidly three times, brows furrowed and face blank. Then he turned slowly to face him, “Do you think so?”

 

“Of course it was!” Naruto replied, “It was extraordinary, quite extraordinary.”

 

“Oh.” Sasuke said and Naruto thought he sounded a bit surprised, despite the word lacking any emotion, “That’s not what people normally say.”

 

“What do people normally say?”

 

Sasuke smiled tightly, “Piss off!”

 

Naruto grinned widely at that, turning away to hide the expression from his unamused companion.  _ ‘I can imagine why.’ _

 

* * *

 

“About there, just park in the corner for a sec.”

 

“Sure, sir.”

 

Sasuke paid for the ride as they got off at District 5, and started walking towards the cordoned off area. A couple of police cars were stationed outside the taped off section and Naruto could spot Hatake-keibu right before he entered the house.

 

“So, did I get anything wrong?”

 

Naruto hummed, limping towards their destination, “Tsunade is my godmother, not aunt. But we’re pretty close. And you were right, she does have family problems, but that’s not why I didn’t want to stay with her.”

 

“Oh? Can’t believe I missed something. What is it?”

 

Naruto continued, “In fact, I did ask to move in with her, reduce expenses, you know. She was the one who refused. Said I reminded her too much of her late brother,” he looked at Sasuke here, “and  _ late _ husband.”

 

The detective frowned, “Not divorced then, but a widow. Hmm, I suppose you can’t get everything.”

 

The doctor ignored his mumbling, “What exactly am I doing here?”

 

The dark haired man continued walking, lost in thoughts.

 

Naruto trailed after him, “Sasuke! Answer me, what am I doing here?”

 

Sasuke remained quiet as they reached the cordon and Naruto suspected he was off thinking how he could have been wrong about his deduction. 

 

“Hello, freak.”

 

Naruto’s head snapped towards the speaker, eyes narrowing. 

 

_ Female, mid-twenties, red-haired, red-pin on on coat lapel – Division 1, homicide. Body language, hostile. Mouth curled upwards, eyes hard – envy – _

 

Sasuke’s voice snapped him out of his haze.

 

“I’m here to see Hatake-keibu.” He sounded completely unaffected at the slur.

 

She crossed her arms, “Why?”

 

Sasuke cocked his head at her, as if wondering if it was worth the trouble to reply. Naruto was already irritated at the attitude and wondered how Sasuke could be so indifferent at the treatment.

 

“I was invited.” He lifted the tape and walked under it.

 

The female inspector moved to block his way. “Why?”

 

“I think he wants me to take a look.” He indicated towards the house, silently asking her to step aside. 

 

Naruto was seriously wondering if he’d done the right thing by coming along. He didn’t want to get involved in any interdepartmental politics and power plays between the cops or whatever it was that was going on.

 

“You know what I think?” The woman said as she moved aside.

 

“Always, Karui.” Sasuke smiled blandly, lifting the tape again for Naruto to get through. “I also know that you broke up with your boyfriend last night.”

 

Naruto shook his head, letting them continue as he moved to cross the boundary.

 

“Wait a sec,” Karui raised an arm to stop him, “Who’re you?”

 

“Colleague of mine,” Sasuke interrupted, “Dr Uzumaki.”

 

Naruto nodded to her.

 

“And this is Detective Akashi Karui.” 

 

Karui blinked in surprise, disbelief clear in her voice as she questioned Sasuke, “A colleague? How did you get a colleague?” She laughed a bit, turning towards Naruto, “What, did he follow you home one day?”

 

Not wanting to get pulled into it, he stepped back, “Er, would it be better if I just stayed outside –?”

 

“No.” Sasuke said curtly, lifting the tape up.

 

Naruto glanced at Karui, who scoffed and lifted up a walkie-talkie from her belt and spoke into it, telling Hatake of their arrival. Naruto guessed she had no problem then and hobbled underneath it. Thankfully, Sasuke’s tall stature meant he’d lifted the tape high enough that he didn’t need to bend at all, providing his knee some relief.

 

While Naruto walked straight to the house, Sasuke meandered about, sometimes pausing to check something on the ground. The doctor paid it no mind, knowing that he would be no help in looking for clues nigh invisible. He had good skills, but they certainly didn’t lie in that field.

 

“Oi, Uchiha’s here!” A tall, shaggy haired man with two red, triangular tattoos – Naruto squinted in disbelief – on his  _ cheeks _ emerged out the front door. “Why’s Uchiha here?”

 

“Kakashi called him, Kiba. Him and the other guy.” Karui muttered.

 

“Inuzuka.” Sasuke nodded in greeting, smiling blandly, “Pleasure, as always.”

 

_ ‘Ah, the forensic specialist who wouldn’t work with Sasuke,’ _ Naruto remembered.

 

“It’s a crime scene. I don’t want you contaminating it.” Inuzuka Kiba said, pulling off his rubber gloves as he stood in front of Sasuke.

 

“Says the mutt. How many fleas did you lead to the corpse today?”

 

Kiba growled, “Shut up, smart alec!” 

 

Naruto was seriously having doubts if Sasuke got along with  _ anyone _ , now. He nudged Sasuke a bit, “Let’s just get going.”

 

Sasuke didn’t move. Lifting his chin a bit, he sniffed, “Wonderful, you’re having girlfriend troubles too.”

 

“What?” Kiba snapped, “What do you mean?”

 

Sasuke simply smirked. “Or did you break up with her too? No, doesn’t seem like – she’s away on a holiday, isn’t she?

 

“Oh, don’t pretend you worked that out,” Kiba said spitefully, “Someone told you that.”

 

“Your deodorant told me that.”

 

“My deodorant?

 

Naruto watched, more than a little incredulous, as Sasuke gave him a mocking smile, “It’s for  _ men _ .”

 

“Wha–?” Kiba’s face was confused, “Of course it’s for  _ men _ ! I’m wearing it!”

 

“So is Detective Akashi.” The Uchiha pointed out smugly, finally walking forward, revenge apparently carried out. 

 

Naruto pursed his lips, trying not to burst out laughing at the undertones of that sentence; because Sasuke wouldn't make a random comment and  _ clearly _ it meant what he thought he did.

 

“Whoa, Uchiha,” Kiba reached out a hand, voice wavering only for a minusicle moment, “Whatever you’re trying to imply –”

 

“Oh, I’m not implying anything,” Sasuke said feigning innocence. He beckoned Naruto after him and they moved through the front entrance. He gave one side glance to the red-haired detective as walked in, “I’m sure Karui came around for a chat last night, and just  _ happened _ to stay over.”

 

Naruto widened his eyes,  _ ‘Uh oh, he’s not actually going to say it, is he?’  _

 

“And I assume she scrubbed your floors, judging by the state of her knees.”

 

_ ‘He did.’ _ Naruto cringed. Ignoring Karui’s and Kiba’s shell shocked expressions, he moved inwards, following the corridor to arrive at the base of a staircase. The police had clearly stocked all their equipment at close reach, so he grabbed the protective material that Sasuke handed him and pulled it on.

 

“Finally here?” Inspector Hatake said tiredly, “And who’s this?”

 

“He’s with me.”

 

Naruto gave a nod to Hatake, who extended his hand in to him, “Inspector Hatake Kakashi. I hope you know what you’re doing.”

 

Naruto gave him a convincing smile, because he clearly didn’t. “Uzumaki Naruto.”

 

“Where’s the body?”

 

“Upstairs.” Kakashi said, “Come with me. Work your magic and tell me what you see. I can only give you two minutes, we’re almost packing up here.”

 

“May need longer.”

 

Naruto watched them converse in silence, his walking stick making soft thudding noises as they ascended.

 

“Her name is Akai Yume, according to her credit cards,” Kakashi turned to give him a meaningful look, “Late forties, and well… you might as well come see yourself. Some kids found her, when a ball crashed through the window.”

 

* * *

 

Sasuke’s first thought on seeing the woman was “Red”. 

 

Her hair – her  _ bright red _ hair – easily reaching waist length, was only tied up in a loose ponytail. She was lying face down on the floor, the fingertips of her right hand slightly bloodied from where she had scratched out her dying message. She’d dressed in simple work clothes; a pair of black trousers and shirt, with a blazer over it. A simple, ordinary woman, got caught in bad circumstances, one would say, at first glance.

 

Sasuke breathed in and focused.

 

_ Woman. Late forties. Office worker. Calluses on finger tips, used to typing. Smart, sensible shoes with a small heel. Rough coat cuffs, desk job? – secretarial job, day worker. Routine lifestyle. Expensive watch, well off. No jewelry, not materialistic. _

 

He paused, bending down as a glint of gold caught his eye. He pulled out his portable magnifying glass and aimed it at her neck. Hidden beneath her hair, a gold chain stood out. Sasuke pulled out a handkerchief, carefully extracting it as he took caution not to touch it with bare hands – a ring, plain gold, dangled from it.

 

_ Widow. Old design. Married nearly 20 years prior. Sentimental? No... Faithful – no second attachments. _

 

He finally gave a glance at the words she’d scratched out in her last moments. Some of the kanji were sloppy, but they were legible.

 

_ Right handed. And – _

 

Sasuke looked up, “Kakashi, what are you not telling me?”

 

The masked man said nothing and the detective looked back at the message.

 

_ Namika–  _

 

Sasuke carefully lifted her hand to see the rest.

 

_ Namikaze Na– _

 

That was unfortunately all she’d written before her life had ended. Sasuke spoke the words over and over, muttering it under his breath, trying to come up with a meaning, “Namikaze, Namikaze...Namikaze Na–?”

 

“Namikaze,” Kiba said, having come up a while ago and was leaning against the door frame.

 

“Inuzuka, please don’t start theorising,” Sasuke got off the floor, “It’ll do us all a favor.”

 

Kiba shrugged, “I’m just saying. Sounds like a name. She was writing down the name of the culprit –”

 

“Yes, thank you for your input.” Sasuke shut the door in his face. He faced Kakashi and Naruto with a bored expression, “It’s not the name of her culprit, they wouldn’t be stupid enough to say it; but it is certainly the name of someone important. Besides, what I’m concerned about, is not the name she was writing, but hers.”

 

“Her name?” Naruto asked, “What’s wrong with that?”

 

“It’s clearly a fake one,” Sasuke retorted, “Something Hatake figured out immediately.”

 

“Fake?” Naruto repeated, “But it was on her credit card, wasn’t it?”

 

“Akai Yume,” Kakashi said, “is an alias. Even translated, it resembles something like “Red Dream”. Besides, we ran a check for her, she doesn’t exist.”

 

“Oh,” Naruto looked taken aback, “So do you think she was killed because of her fake identity of something?”

 

Kakashi shook his head, “No. She is just another victim of the serial suicide case.”

 

“Yes, yes, that’s all very good,” Sasuke said, impatient, “Tell me why you called me here. Why ask me to look into this case when you seem to know more than me –  _ what _ are you not telling me?

 

Kakashi gave small glance at Naruto but then sighed, “Well, it doesn’t particularly matter anymore. As soon as we searched for her, the higher ups contacted me. She’s not a threat or anything. Retired from service, she was professional hacker. Had to quit after an accident sent her into coma for a couple of years.”

 

“Skip the drivel, Kakashi. Tell me the reason you called me on this case.”

 

“Because I don’t have time,” said the white haired man, looking straight at Sasuke, “I cannot let the case details become public; which means a quick resolution before the media finds out. You need to do it fast.”

 

“The  _ reason _ , Kakashi.”

 

Kakashi closed his eyes, “The message makes no sense to me. You’re right, it’s not her culprit’s name. It’s  _ hers _ . The woman’s real name is Namikaze Kushina. The Red-Headed Habanero.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Why Germany?” some may ask and I’m going to say this now – I have very little knowledge on how Japan’s armed forces are deployed outside the border. But, as Germany is one of their allies and not a repeat of the old “Iraq” and “Afghanistan” trope, I chose to go along with it. Anyone with ideas for improvement can certainly comment below!

**Author's Note:**

> .
> 
> All of you silent readers out there - I hope you are liking this story. If you are (and if not) do please let me know by reviewing! It does not take much time and highly encourages me to write faster! But, thank you all the same :)
> 
> So...
> 
> REVIEW!


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